Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
by Mac-alicious
Summary: Mistakes. I make a lot of them. I never thought that in the process of making the best mistake of my life...I would also make the worst. Sad Sum, I know. Doesn't tell you anything! Dasey. Derek's POV
1. Love Is Blinding

A/N: This is my absolute first attempt at actually writing a "mature" scene. Sure, I've read a bunch...but actually writing one...nuh uh. So, while I appreciate reviews...try not to be too hard on me. I'm fragile. Jk. Anyways, this is set up like LMMS where I have a litle bit of lyrics at the beginning to set up the chapter. But this one is in Derek's POV all the way to the end. The song is 'Mistakes We Knew We Were Making' by Mae. I absolutely love Mae and all their songs. Most of them remind me of LWD and the whole idea of Dasey, which is why this is my second fic to a Mae song. They're inspiring. Okay I won't ramble on anymore, just Please Read & Review! Thanks a bunch! -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek or the lyrics from the Mae song.

**Chapter One**

**Love Is Blinding**

_We made plans to be unbreakable. Love was all we knew. No insurance for the unthinkable. Blindly get us through. We've been searching for a lifetime, short as it may seem. Riding on the fumes that spark us, while igniting dreams._

Casey was sitting propped against the head board of her bed, reading a book, when I found her. I had pushed open her door gently and quietly. I leaned agains her doorway, a smirk gracing my lips, as I waited for her to look up at me. She slipped a marker ino her page and closed her book, letting it rest in her lap. Finally she turned her eyes to meet mine.

"Derek, what do you want?" Casey replied softly, smiling all the while.

"Edwin and Lizzie are being dropped off at a friend's birthday party. Dad and Nora have taken Marti for a fun day out on the town. So that means you and I are..." I began to explain.

"Here all alone?" Casey finished.

"Marveous observation Casey." I smirked.

"What ever can we do?" Casey questioned.

My smile widened as those words left her lips. I pushed away from the doorway and moved toward her. I sat at the end of the bed and then shifted a bit. I crawled over her body, slowly, so we ended up face to face just inches from each other. I ignored the slight motion of her placing her book on her bedside table, and kept my eyes on hers. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked directly into Casey's eyes.

"I can think of a few things." I mumured just before I pressed my lips to hers.

Barely a moment later I felt her wrap her arms around my neck. She kissed me harder, more urgently, almost desperate like. For a person who took a lot of time in all she did, she was never really that patient with these kind of things. See, I know first hand. It makes me feel _special _to know that I'm the only one that knows Casey's habits. Just me.

I am pulled from my thoughts by Casey squeezing me tighter and letting one hand slide down my back. Even through my shirt the feel of her nails on my back sent chills down my spine. I get a feeling she's just too good. She knows just how to...do that. Wow.

With Casey, I tend to get caught up and lose track of everything. And when I say everything, I mean absolutely everything. Apparantly Casey is the same way. My focus is completely centered on her. I don't pick up on footsteps, or doors--that are supposed to be locked--opening. And as one of the few things we have in common, Casey doesn't either. That causes moments like this to be too few in number. We don't get many chances to be alone together without any possibility of being caught, so we savor the ones we get. Like this one. I'll never admit it to her, but I prefer to go slow anyway, just to annoy her--and her fast ways.

I grin when a moan slips from Casey's lips and reaches my ears. My hands move to slip under the thin, scrap of fabric Casey has the nerve to call a shirt. I stroke my fingers across her stomach, and she twists under me as a giggle bubbles up out of her throat. She's incredibly ticklish and I exploit that knowledge. In response to my roaming hands, Casey allows her hands to slip under my shirt and slide up and down my back. She ever so slightly runs her nails along my spine and she smiles against my mouth when I physically shudder from the contact.

After awhile I decide her shirt has just become an obstruction and begin to tug it upward. She shifts her weight just enough so I can get it off and over my shoulder. As I expected, she immediately began to pull on my shirt. She never lets me have the advantage. I pulled away for a moment to comply to her demanding hands, and rid myself of the offending garment.

As I came back to her, I kissed her lightly on the lips in an attempt to slow her down a bit. But Casey just wouldn't have it. One of her hands tangled in my hair a little forcing me closer. I opened my mouth to her and her tongue swept in to explore my mouth. I never let any girl do that, until Casey. It wasn't really my thing, but Casey liked it. Enjoyed it, really. And I enjoyed her enjoying it. Cheesy, yes I know but true. I was all about Casey, and always would be, as I had decided.

My breath caught in my throat as Casey's free hand slipped past the waist band of my jeans. I completely missed her unbuttoning and unzipping them. Man, she moves fast. And this girl has a firm grip too. Although I already knew _that_, from past experience. I let out a strangled moan as my head came to rest on her shoulder and her fingers worked around me.Yes, I have decided she is too good at this. I should have known better. Casey is good at _everything _she does. Why would that ever exclude this?

Frustrated with the lack of skin to skin contact, I gently pushed her hand away and kicked off my jeans. A moment later I dragged the short, cotton shorts Casey was wearing off of her. Almost there not quite, but almost.

"Derek..." Casey sighed out my name. Her eyes had closed and I could hear the importance reflected in her voice. I could feel it oozing off of her.

"Patience." I murmured right against her ear. I was taunting her, teasing her. Satisfied with the moan that escaped her throat not a mometn after I captured her lips again.

"Patience? Are you seriously asking me to be patient?" Casey replied pulling away slightly to look at me. The words came out in short gasps of breath, "We get this kind of alone time, once every...I don't know how long! But that doesn't matter. I want to make the most of what little time we get...but I miss you."

"You see me everyday." I said, and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Not like this." I agreed, "But I don't want to feel rushed. And _you're _making me feel rushed."

"I am not rushing you I just...okay I'm rushing you, but it's been so long since last time..."

"I know how long it's been." I said against her skin as I nuzzled into the crook of her neck. "_Believe_ me I know."

"I just want..."

"Shh..."

"But I..."

"Shh..."

"Can't I just..."

Finally I resorted to the only effective way of silencing Casey. I kissed her, thouroughly I might add. I reached around her back to unclasp her bra and dismissed it easily across the room. She dipped her head down to kiss along my jawline. My eyes fluttered shut against the sensation. I felt a smile stretch across her face rather than saw it. She knows me way to well.

Obviously my little talk on pattience did nothing to defer Casey's intentions already she was pulling on my boxers, tugging forcefully. I chuckled at her obvious frustration as they refused to move. I pulled back to get a good look at her. The look in her eyes told me she wanted them off and she wanted them off now. I smirked at her and she scowled. Yes, she knows me too well. While I usually always give her what she wants, it doesn't mean I give it to her right away.

I leaned in and kissed her deeply as my hand slowly made it's way down her side. I looped my fingers in the elastic of her panties and slid them down incredibly slow, so slow that it barely registered on her _clouded _senses. I nudged her leg with my knee and she lifted her body just enough to allow me to pull them off. As yet another piece of clothing was discarded, I brought my hand back up her leg, slowly trailing over her bare thigh. She gasped into my mouth when to stroke her. She bucked slightly against my hand, urging me closer, further, deeper. I'm getting the feeling she's frustrated with my slowness. That's funny, because I'm usually associated with fastness--in all aspects of my life...Just not here I guess.

When I felt her getting close I pulled away my hand. She broke our kiss and groaned against my cheek. I just smirked. Seeing her all worked up, just makes it all the better for me.

"Derek..." Casey breathed into my ear, her breath warm on my face. "Please..."

Because she asked so nicely and I was starting to feel a little impatient as well--even though I was the one keeping it slow--I complied. I shoved my boxers down and kicked them the rest of the way off. Casey pulled my head back down to her and kissed me fully on the mouth. On of her hands slid down to grip my shoulder and the other remained tangled at the back of my head. I let one of my hands slip behind her head to cradle her there. The other rested on her hip to hold her still as I sunk into her.Her back arched up to meet my thrust and her moan was stiffled by my mouth.

We found out rhythm quickly out of familiarity. I kept the pace slow, or as slow as I possibly could, which may not actually be viewed as slow at all. Casey was clinging to me tighter letting me know she was getting closer. Her grip on my shoulder was borderline painful but I ignored it as my focus on it shifted to the feeling of Casey's mouth on my throat. My eyes fluttered closed and I leaned into her even more.

I was drowning. Absolutely drowning. She was all I could see, hear and smell. I was so close and so was she. I could feel it. We sped up a little as we neared the edge. She went over first and I followed quickly after. I dropped my head to rest against her shoulder. I heard her sigh into my hair. Her fingers loosened their grip on my shoulder. She rubbed her fingertips gently over the marks she had created there.

"Sorry." She whispered and pressed a feather light kiss to my temple.

I mumbled a response and rolled off her to lay next to her. She turned over to curl up against my side. I pulled her tangled blankets over the both of us. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. She nuzzled her head into my neck and stayed there. I absentmindedly stroked her arm as we lay there together quietly.

"Casey..." I started.

"Mmhmm." Casey murmurmed in response not moving.

The words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them, "I love you."

Casey shifted moving so she could look at me. She rested her chin on my shoulder so she could look up at me. There was a hint of a smile on her face. It was the first time I had said that to her. I had felt it for a long time and I know she had seen it. She never pushed me to say it out loud, and it made me love her all the more.

"I love you too, you know that right?" Casey replied.

"Yeah." I nodded, as best I could from my position.

"Good." Casey said and returned to her previous position, her face snuggled in the crook of my neck. She let out a soft sigh and relaxed against me.

I kissed her lightly on the forehead and I heard her laugh softly. I relaxed back into her pillow, and lay there holding her. I missed laying with her like this, afterward you know, but I would never admit it. Committed to one and in love--or not--I still had a reputation to uphold. Derek Venturi will never be seen as a sap. But yes, I miss it.

We haven't had a whole day alone together in such a long time. Sure we had gotten great at sneaking around so we could be together, but our time didn't last long. We couldn't really hang around afterward. I hated having to rush off after. It made me feel terrible about it. I don't want to imagine how it makes Casey feel. We're going on six months now. A big milestone, for me at least. I hope for her too. Heck, that's longer than she was with Sam. When we started this I had a feeling it would last, but I never thought...well, this long. However, these past months have been the best I've ever experienced, except for the having to sneak around part.

It's been at least two months since our last full day together. We actually had the whole weekend. My dad and Nora had taken the kids to visit some relative of Casey's for the weekend--they do that a lot. The whys, wheres and whos kind of blew over my head. I don't listen to those kind of things. All I heard was they were gone for the weekend and they'd be back late Sunday night. Let's just say I did something very characteristic of me and turned Dad and Nora off of ever leaving me alone again. Yes, that's what Casey said. And yes it was a party I threw--Casey did agree to it too, by the way. We just weren't expecting them to come back so early. If Edwin hadn't gotten sick, we might have gotten away with it. But no such luck. Even Casey got in trouble for "encouraging" me and my "bad behavior." While I completely agree that Casey encourages bad behavior on my part, it wasn't so in this case. I blew up in my dad's face defending her and he extended my two weeks grounded to a month. No dating, he says. I say no problem. I'm in a committed relationship with a girl who lives in the same house as me--ground me for eternity, I don't care--they just don't know it.

Today was the first time they left us alone since then. I was appreciative of the time they had give us, even if they didn't know what they were doing. They were still worried that Casey and I would kill each other if left alone together for too long. See we kept p the act, fighting and such. Although now it's more playful banter than all out brawl. It keeps things exciting, though I think things are exciting enough as it is. Especially when we go a week without being able to find a place to sneak off to.

I really do love her. In the beginning I had thought her a challenge. I love challenges. But it turned into so much more. When I think about it, I'm not surprised it did. She's amazing. She's a beautiful, smart, clever and _passionate_ person. She can apply herself in a way I never could. Casey is unlike any other girl I've been with, dating I mean. The other way, well she's the only one I've been with--only she knows that though. I just wanted her to know this wasn't only a physical thing, although the physical part is amazing. Because her knowing I cared about her wasn't enough, I wanted her to hear it. It felt really good to hear her say it back, too.

I pull the blankets a little higher over us and hug Casey a little tighter to me. She shifts some to find a more comfortable position and lets her leg slip to tangle with mine. Her arm dropped to drape across my chest, her fingers moving lightly on my shoulder making little circles. In the few times we've been able to sleep like this together, she did that every time just before sleep took her. I lean my head to rest against hers and close my eyes. I love this, I wish we could just stay like this forever.

But when do wishes ever come true?


	2. The Chances We're Taking

A/N: Here's chapter dos! I hope you like it. The Italics are a flashback thing. I won't keep you long...just read and review! Thanks. -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek or the song 'Mistakes We Knew We Were Making' by Mae.

**Chapter Two**

**The Chances We're Taking**

_Mistakes we knew we were making. Mistakes we knew we were making. Don't think about chances we're taking. Mistakes we knew.._

I feel her fingers stop their motion and come to rest curled against my neck. Her breathing steadied and became even. I let out a sigh as I sink back into her pillow, staring at Casey's ceiling. I don't know if I should let myself fall asleep or not. If we overslept even the slightest we could get caught. That wouldn't be good at all, especially under our rather _bare _circumstances. On the other hand I was getting sleepy.

For nearly six months, we had been planning every second of our time together around Nora and my dad. We had everyone's schedules memorized to a t. Sneaking around is now officially my expertise. Every moment is spent behind closed doors, in secluded corners, hidden away from everyone. Nobody knows. Not anyone. We're keeping everyone in the dark. Everyone.

Casey says I'm just excited by the fact that we could be caught at anytime, but I know she's just as scared as I am of what would happen if my dad or Nora found out. I hope we don't have to find out anytime soon. We both do. I'm sure they wouldn't want us together. They wouldn't be able to accept it. My best guess is they would force us apart and call it a mistake, one to be forgotten. So maybe it is a mistake, but we are completely aware that we're makinng it. If it is a mistake, this is the best mistake I've ever made, and I've made a lot of mistakes.

This is why we've been hiding away. Who wants to hear that something so amazing is a mistake? I don't. I'm sure Casey doesn't. I have never felt this way in my entire life. I fell in love with Casey, she's the real thing for me. I won't let them take that from me or tell me it's wrong. I won't.

Eventually my eyes dropped closed and I was soon fast asleep. Casey says I'm an extremely heavy sleeper and most of the time I am. Casey on the other had is right on the borderline between heavy and light sleeping. When she's exhausted after a late night studying or a long, stressful day at school, once she's out, she's out. But when she's relaxed like she was now--she can be woken up by the smallest sound. However, for me today was different. I was sleeping lightly or at the very least lighter than usual.

While I was sleeping lightly, we were asleep for hours we were asleep far longer than we should have been, which I would realize later. My dad and Nora were due back by early evening, possibly late afternoon. But we slept right through that.

The shrill ring of the telephone broke into my dream. It was a pleasant dream too, about Casey and some wonderful things she could do to me. I grasped at it to get it back, to let the dream world to envelope me again. But it was no use, I was awake. Casey stirred and sat up quickly. She wrapped her blankets around her as she leaned over to pick up the phone.

I rolled over in the opposite direction to look at her alarm clock. I picked it p and brought it closer to get a better look. I blinked the numbers into focus. My dad and Nora should have been home by now, but seeing as we weren't caught I figured they weren't. I sat the clock back down and stood up, off of Casey's bed. I found my boxers at the foot of her bed and slipped them on. My shirt was balled up and laying in the middle of her floor. I picked it up and pulled it on over my head. I opened on of her desk drawers and reached into the back to pull the shirt out. I tossed it to Casey and she pulled it on, letting the blanket fall, before she put the phone to her ear.

It was one of my old tee shirts, one I would rarely wear anymore. Casey had stolen it the first night she spent in my room, which was also our very first night together. She said it was nice to wear something of mine because it smelt like me and it felt like she had be around when she wore it, even if I wasn't. That night and everything about it has been seared into my memory. And I'll say it, I cherish it.

_Casey was shuffling through one of my dresser drawers. I had no idea why she had suddenly left my bed pulling on her bra and panties, only to start searching through my drawers. It was taking her a long time to come back too. I figured she was looking for something clean amongst my predominantly dirty laundry. Even if I didn't know why she was looking through it in the first place. She pulled out the wrinkled tee shirt and smiled. I watched her pull it over her head from my seat, propped up against the head of my bed. I chuckled a little as I watched her petite frame drown in the fabric. She turned and glared at me._

_"What?" I exclaimed._

_"Don't laugh at me." Casey commanded as she returned to me. She sat down next to me and I put my arm around her shoulders. "I like it."_

_"Why?" I questioned, frowning in distaste, "I don't even like it and I own it."_

_"It smells like you." Casey answered simply and nestled closer to me._

_"Surprising since I haven't worn it in like two years." I joked. I took a dramatic whiff of it, leaning into her shoulder. "And it smells like it hasn't been washed since then either."_

_"Leave me alone, will you." Casey mumbled, slapping me playfully in the chest. "It's like having you hug me when you're not around."_

_"How would you know? It's the first time you've worn it." I asked._

_"It's not the first time." She said it so quietly I got the feeling I wasn't meant to hear it._

_"Not the first time? Are you serious?"_

_"Yes..."_

_"So how long have you been stealing my clothes?" I raised my eyebrows at her when she looked up at me._

_"Borrowing." She corrected, "I always returned it--them."_

_"How long?" I repeated._

_"Since that day you hugged me. I felt so warm and overwhelmed by you. I liked having you wrapped around me." Casey explained. "If you remember that was the same day Marti spilt an entire bottle of grape juice down my shirt."_

_"Ah, Purple Day." I smiled._

_"Yes, Purple Day." Casey repeated with far less enthusiasm as me. It came out as more of a groan. "Well I was dripping like crazy, just soaked. So instead of dripping purple slop all the way to my room I decided to just change into something from the laundry. But all that was left where a bunch of tee shirts: Edwin's, yours and George's. I guess the rest of us girls are were just too neat because we had taken all of our clothes to our rooms already. Edwin's were obviously too small, George's were too big..."_

_"And mine were just right?" I cut her off, smirking at my own joke._

_"Not **horribly** big."Casey corrected, "So I took one of yours, and that's how it got started."_

_"The day I hugged you? That was the day..."_

_"Sam and I broke up." Casey finished. "You hugged me like you really cared. It surprised me. That was a month ago."_

_"I remember. A week later we got together." I smiled. _

_"Can you believe we've been together for three weeks? It must be a record for you, huh Derek?" Casey joked._

_"Very funny." I scowled at her. "You know you're different."_

_"I better be." Casey replied. She pressed a light kiss to my jaw._

_"Have I ever told you, you look incredibly sexy in my clothes?" I said before draggin her down onto the bed with me on top of her. I growled as I leaned down to kiss her neck sloppily._

_She twisted beneath me as she laughed, "Derek stop!"_

_I pulled back and looked her directly in the eyes. She smiled softly. One of her hands reached up to touch my cheek gently. I dipped down and kissed her lightly on the lips._

_"I'm glad you decided to stay tonight." I whispered into her ear._

_"Be glad my mom and George took the kids to visit yet another obscure relative I've met, probably, once." Casey responded._

_"You're amazing, you know that?" I smiled, "You couldn't just let it be about you?"_

_"Well it's true!" Casey exclaimed. "If they hadn't gone, this wouldn't be happening right now."_

_"It was really special to me too, you do know that, right?"_

_"I know." Casey nodded. "It was nothing against you."_

_"Good." I murmured._

_"Derek..." Casey said._

_"Yes, Casey?" I responded._

_"Thanks for the shirt." Casey replied and laughed at the expression that spread across my face. _

I was shook from my memory by the look that fell over Casey's face. She had greeted the person on the other end calmly. I had figured it was my dad or Nora explaining why they were late and saying they would be home soon. Traffic. Lizzie and Edwin wanted to stay later at their party. Marti refused to leave the ice cream parlor until she had tasted every flavor offered. There was a logical explanation and they would give it. I wasn't worried. Why would I be worried? We were in a constant state of chaos. Tardiness had to be one of our specialties, along with messiness and disorganization. I should have been worried.

Casey looked absolutely crushed, upset would have been an understatement. I couldn't imagine what was going on in her head. I couldn't imagine what had been said to make her look like that. Her responses were limited to one worded phrases, so I was given no insight to the conversation.

"Casey, what's wrong?" I asked quietly. She turned to look at me and the look in her eyes silenced all of my future questions. Something was really wrong.

I waited for her to get off the phone. She would tell me. I highly doubted it was my dad or Nora on the phone. I couldn't think of anything they could have said to upset her that bad. I didn't even realize I was pacing. I forced myself to stop moving and stood still for a moment. I ended up sitting down next to Casey. I waited.

Finally Casey let the phone slip out of her hand and back on the hook. She sat silently, her face dropped into her hands. I slowly reached over to stroke her back gently. I was trying to comfort her, to ease the tension that had settled into her body. Now I was worried. Casey was really scaring me. Something was incredibly wrong. Incredibly, incredibly wrong.

"Casey, what is it?" I questioned, "Tell me what's wrong. Please Casey, you're really freaking me out here."

Casey sat up straight and turned to look at me. I felt her take a deep breath and then sigh. I reached over and enclosed one of her hands in mine, lacing my fingers with hers. Her silence was biting at my nerves. I was anxious for an explanation. I could understand that it might be hard for her to get the words out but she had to give me something. I was completely freaking out and she was just looking at me, as quiet as ever. Finally she opened her mouth to speak and the words, I would soon dread, fell out.

"There's been an accident."

A/N2: I appreciate the reviews I've gotten so far! Thanks! Review now, please! Thanks! -Mac


	3. Quiet Aches Intense

A/N: This is chapter three. It's incredibly long for a chapter that I've written. Over four thousand words. Anyways, again the italics are a flashback. Enjoy. Read and Review! -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek, or the song—that belongs to Mae.

**Chapter Three**

**Quiet Aches Intense**

_Driving in the rain to the hospital. Quiet aches intense. What at once just seemed the impossible now makes perfect sense. We held hands to face the uncomfortable, cold and lonely room. Magazines and empty distractions barely got us through._

The rain pelted the windshield as I sped down the street. Of course it would start raining now, of all times. The rain had begun to fall just before we left the house. We were soaked before we reached my car. So we were wet, cold and completely silent as I navigated us to the hospital.

I had been completely dressed and ready to go in five minutes, probably less. Casey threw on some jeans, tied up her hair and followed me to the car once she grabbed her purse and house keys. I was no longer thinking. I was running on instinct. I just had to get there, and get there fast.

I watched the windshield wipers and their perfect rhythm. The twenty-minute drive to the hospital felt like it was taking ages. I hit another red light and let out a frustrated yell, slamming my hands on the steering wheel. I should have been there already. Why wasn't I there yet?

Casey slipped a comforting hand onto my forearm. I turned to look at her. I noticed the clear tracks that winded down her face. When did she start crying? I hadn't ever known. She had always been quiet when she cries. She never wanted anyone to know when she was hurt, but I always did. I reached over and wiped a couple fresh tears away with the pad of my thumb.

"It will be okay, Derek." She whispered.

"How do you know?" I choked out. Oh hell, when did I start crying?

"I don't." Casey admitted, "But it just has to be."

I took a deep breath before I began to drive again at the green light. I took the first parking place I found once we arrived at the hospital. Casey was right behind me as I rushed into the emergency room. I made a beeline to the nurses' desk, and we found my dad and Nora there talking with one of the ladies there.

"Dad, what's going on? Is there any news? Anything new?" I questioned rapidly.

"Derek, Casey! Thank God you're here." Nora exclaimed before she proceeded to hug us both tightly.

"Mom. News? Anything?" Casey repeated my curiosity.

"Nothing new." Nora shook her head, "She's still in surgery. We don't know anything yet."

My dad took his turn to hug us both before saying his part, "And we're stuck here with a mountain of paperwork. So we couldn't find out anything if we wanted to."

"George, I'll do this—let me do this." Nora replied and punctuated her point by pulling the clipboard and papers out of my dad's hands. "Why don't you head down to the cafeteria, get some coffee, get me some coffee. I'll find you if we hear anything."

"Okay, okay." My dad nodded and headed toward the elevators.

"The waiting room is around the corner, why don't you two wait there, I'll be there as soon as I'm done here." Nora suggested.

I nodded and headed in the direction Nora had pointed, but Casey held back. "Mom is there anything I can do? Anything at all?"

"No honey. Just wait with Derek and try not to fight right now. We really don't need that right now." Nora replied.

"We won't. Promise." Casey said simply.

"Oh Casey." Nora responded and out of the corner of my eye, I saw here embrace Casey once again. Then she noticed it, "Is that Derek's shirt?"

"What? Oh yes. I was asleep when I got the call, I was in my pj's, it was the first thing I found in the laundry. I didn't even realize it at first. I wasn't exactly thinking straight." Casey explained quickly—lying through her teeth and she was good at it too.

"I don't think any of us are." Nora sighed.

"I know mom. We're all going out of our minds a little."

Not long after, Casey joined me and we continued on to the waiting room. We sat down together in a row of empty seats. I felt...broken, stuck, like I'm moving but going nowhere. I wasn't quite numb yet, but close to it. I ran a shaky hand through my already mussed up hair. I let out a deep breath and jumped in surprise when Casey's hand latched onto mine. I hadn't forgotten she was there, I just wasn't aware of every move she made like I usually was. I was really out of it tonight, with good reason though.

"Why is this happening?" I nearly sobbed out. I was crying again. I hadn't cried in like ten years and tonight I was already onto my second bout of tears.

"I don't know. I really don't know." Casey murmured.

"Little Marti. God, how could this happen? Casey, things like this aren't supposed to happen. What did she ever do to deserve this kind of pain? What did we ever do to deserve this?" I rambled.

"Derek, calm down. Everything will turn out all right. But we need to be collected, kept together to be here for Marti." Casey replied, her tone mildly scolding. "This is nobody's fault."

"This is my fault." I corrected looking her in the eye. It was my fault, she just didn't know what I had done.

"How do you figure that?" Casey frowned.

"This is my fault. I should have just said yes." I said quietly.

"I don't understand. I don't know what you're talking about Derek." Casey responded.

"I said no. I said no and now we're here. It's my fault!" I exclaimed.

_I was downstairs, settled on the couch and flicking channels on the TV. The noise of everyone getting ready faded into the background. I was already excited. Casey and I were finally going to get some time alone together. It was such a rare luxury. I was really excited. Thank God for birthdays! Thank God for Daddy-Daughter days (plus Nora)!_

_I was deeply absorbed in my plans for the day when my dad approached me. I was surprised **he** was the first one ready. Nora must have gotten stuck getting Marti ready. She was probably insisting on the cat ears again or the costume from last Halloween. I chuckled silently to myself at the very thought. I finally turned my attention to my dad. It was obvious he wanted to talk to me._

"_Hey Dad, what's up?" I replied, nonchalantly._

"_Derek I have a favor to ask—but I completely understand if you say no, because you probably already have plans." My dad responded quickly._

"_What is it, Dad?" I shrugged._

"_Could you maybe watch Marti for today. I know we've been planning on taking her out, but Nora and my anniversary is coming up soon and I was hoping to maybe take Nora out on a little preview, just the two of us, as a surprise." My dad answered._

_My first thoughts were about the plans I would be making for Casey and my anniversary. I shook myself from those thoughts and remembered my plans for today. I had my cover already thought out._

"_Well, I already made plans with Sam for today. You know I would love to spend the day with Marti, but I promised Sam I would hand with him." I began, "I could cancel, I mean it's just Sam."_

"_No, it's fine. I completely understand. The two of you haven't really gotten to spend much time together since...well you know."_

"_Since Casey and he broke up. You can say it Dad. She's completely over it." I finished his unfinished sentence. "I mean, it's been six months. Come on, she's a big girl."_

"_Right." My dad nodded. "Well, there's Nora and the kids. We'll see you later—late afternoon, maybe early evening, really depends on the little one there. You know the rules. We're really trusting you here, after the last time..."_

"_I know." I nodded, "Just go, already!"_

"_Try not to fight too much with Casey, please." My dad added as he joined Nora near the door._

"_I promise I won't burn the house down...with her inside it." I joked. "Really, everything will be fine. We don't even fight that much anymore."_

"_Well, I'll believe that when I see it." My dad said sarcastically. "See you later, Derek."_

"_Bye Derek, and be careful." Nora replied as she walked out the door, followed by Lizzie and Edwin, who waved shortly before leaving._

_My dad picked up Marti and she waved vigorously at me, "Bye Smerek!"_

"_See ya, Smarti!" I called back to her. Two minutes later I was upstairs in Casey's doorway. I never thought that might be the last time I saw her. I never thought my choice would wind up getting her hurt. I never thought._

"I let them take her. I was so selfish. All I could think about was finding a way to be with you. If I had just said yes, this never would have happened." I explained everything to Casey. "This is my fault."

"Derek stop!" Casey exclaimed cutting off any of my further ramblings, "You had no way of knowing what would happen. This isn't your fault. Derek, you didn't do this. It was an accident. It wasn't your fault. The one at fault, really at fault, it is the person that crashed into them. Not you."

Why was she always right? No matter what she said, though, I would always harbor some form of guilt for the whole thing. It wasn't going to just disappear. I had a chance to prevent this from happening and I let it pass by. No matter what happens, I would always wonder what would have happened if I had said yes. If I had kept Marti with me, if I hadn't let them take her, what would have happened?

We stayed quiet after that. I leaned back in my chair, resting my head against the wall behind me. Casey's thumb stroked the back of my hand and I tried to focus on that feeling to get my mind off my worries. It didn't work. I picked up a magazine off a table in front of me and absentmindedly flipped through it. Casey's head came to rest on my shoulder, propped up to read along with me. It was an empty distraction and it worked for only a moment before I tossed the thing back.

Casey sat back up and put her free hand on the shoulder her chin had just vacated. She massaged it gently, sending me silent words of comfort and support. I sent a weak smile her way, which she returned, before I pulled our entwined hands up to kiss the back of her hand gently. That was how my dad and Nora found us.

At first they ignored it. Nora sat down next to Casey with my dad in the seat next to her. Casey's eyes had gone wide for a moment before returning to normal. Casey avoided looking at them, as did I. Our gazes traveled toward the ground and stayed there. My that is an interesting spot there on the floor.

"Any news?" Casey asked.

"Nothing yet. All they keep telling us is that she's still in surgery and a doctor will come and find us as soon as they know something." Nora answered, then after a long, drawn out pause she voiced her own question. "How long has this been going on?"

"Six months." I answered quickly and without hesitation. What was I supposed to do? We were already caught. Besides now wasn't a time for secrets, especially ones as big as this one.

Before another word could be spoken, we were interrupted by the arrival of Lizzie and Edwin, accompanied by a frazzled looking woman.

"Lizzie!" Casey jumped up instantly and hugged her sister tightly. Edwin silently moved toward me and I gave him a half hug from my seat. Leaving Casey's seat open, he sat down in the other chair next to mine. Once Casey released her, Lizzie claimed the open chair next to Edwin.

I was glad he had her, like I had Casey. Like my dad had Nora. We would need them, especially if things got any worse.

"Oh Nancy, thank you so much for bringing them here. We just had no way to get to them and I had Casey and Derek come straight here." Nora had stood and was now frantically greeting the woman who had come in with Lizzie and Edwin. I pegged her to be a mother of one of their friends.

"Nora, Nora! Please, it's no problem. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?" Nancy asked, her voice soft and sweet. It was nice to hear real compassion in someone's voice. "I can't even imagine what you're going through."

"No, we're fine here. Well not fine of course, but...there's nothing you can really do. There's nothing any of us can do right now. We just have to wait and see what happens. And pray the outcome is good." Nora was now silently sobbing but we could all hear the sadness in her voice. "You should be home with your kids. We've got everything we need."

"Okay, but if you need anything don't hesitate to call. We'll pray for her." Nancy offered before leaving.

Nora wiped her face before turning to Edwin and Lizzie, hugging them both. She returned to her seat and grabbed my dad's hand. He must be torn up. I haven't really spoken to him yet. Not that I could even find words to say to him. Casey's hand slipped back into mine and she rested her head back, her eyes closed. It was silent amongst us, until Lizzie asked a question I was too afraid to ask—I thought it would have upset my dad and Nora—but had been mentally voicing since the call.

"Mom, what exactly happened?"

Nora met her daughter's eyes momentarily before she began to explain. They had been on their way to pick up Lizzie and Edwin. They had promised Marti ice cream but had saved it for last so they could take Lizzie and Edwin too. They were halfway through an intersection when it happened. A man in a truck ran the red light and slammed into the tail end of the van as it attempted to pass. The car had practically curled in on itself. They would find out later that the man had been drunk. Marti took most of the impact. Nora and my dad escaped with just a few scratches and bruises. It was then that I noticed the slight gash in my dad's forehead and the discolored bruising along Nora's neck and shoulder—what could be seen around her shirt—which I credited to the seat belt.

Nora said it took almost a half an hour to even get Marti out of the car. She was alive but unconscious and she was hurt really badly. They were afraid they wouldn't make it to the hospital in time, but they had. All that was left to do was wait. So waiting we were.

Hours passed with no news, no sign of anyone to tell us anything. I was exhausted, hungry, thirsty, and a ton of other things, but I couldn't move. I wouldn't move. I wasn't going to move. Not until I heard something about Marti. I wasn't going to walk away. So I stayed put, barely moving a muscle, and held on to Casey's hand for dear life. She was the only thing keeping me together. She was keeping me strong, and I bet she didn't even know it.

I checked the clock on the wall in front of me for probably the hundredth time in the last minute. I was tired of waiting, I wanted to know what was going on. I hated not being clued in. It made me feel even worse than knowing something was wrong. At least if I know I could figure out a way to handle it. Not knowing was killing me.

I stood up abruptly and Casey sent me a surprised look, "I'm going to the cafeteria. Find me if anything happens."

"I'll come too." Casey said standing.

"Lizzie, Edwin do you want to come? Get something to eat maybe?" I asked my eyes on my brother's sad face.

They both nodded weakly and followed me. Again, Casey hung back, "Mom you will find us if anything happens, anything at all?"

"Yes, honey." Nora nodded. "Look after the kids...and Derek."

At the sound of my name my ears picked up. I turned slightly toward slightly toward them, in time to hear my dad ask, "How is he taking it?"

"It's been really hard on him. He blamed himself for awhile, but I think I talked him out of it." Casey answered.

"He told you then?" My dad replied in response. "About this morning?"

"Of course. We tell each other everything." Casey said simply and rejoined me. Edwin and Lizzie had gone ahead and hadn't heard a thing.

"Nora, how could we have not known?" I heard my dad say as we turned the corner.

"What happened this morning?" Nora questioned instead.

The four of us traveled down the hall until we came to the elevators. I pushed the down button with a little more force than I meant to. When the doors to the elevator finally opened, I waited for the small group of people to get out and went in first. Casey gestured Lizzie and Edwin in, and then followed. She pushed the button for the appropriate floor. I leaned against the back wall of the elevator and closed my eyes for the brief moment we were moving. Every second that passes seemed to lag. It felt like the night was never going to end.

Casey's hand touched my shoulder urging me out of the elevator that had now stopped moving. The cafeteria was still and quiet. There were probably six people in the whole place: the woman at the register, a couple nurses in line buying a late dinner, and a small family of three sitting at a table by the far wall. I handed Edwin some cash to buy himself and Lizzie something and then headed for the vending machines around the corner. I wasn't up for the pudding, jello and cold sandwiches the main cafeteria served. The crud I had sent Edwin to. I was in more of a junk food mood. I wasn't really in the mood for anything, but I would settle for some chips or something. I dug some change out of my jeans' pocket and bought myself a water bottle and a bag of chips.

"Do you want something?" I asked as I sensed Casey's presence behind me.

"A water would be nice." Casey answered coming to stand beside me, observing the selection.

I handed her mine and searched for another quarter to buy myself a new one. Once I had it in my hand I turned to Casey. "So we tell each other everything?"

"Don't we?" She responded quietly.

"Of course." I smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss to her cheek.

We found a table—not hard, due to the emptiness of the cafeteria—and Lizzie and Edwin joined us a moment later. We sat there silently. Man, we were really falling into a pattern. Edwin had taken a bite of his 'cold meat sandwich'—as the label read. Lizzie sat picking at her cup of jello. Every so often Casey would take a sip off of her water bottle. My own bottle, and bag of chips, sat unopened in front of me. It was just quiet.

"What's with you two?" Edwin asked suddenly, addressing me.

"Yeah you're usually fighting by now." Lizzie added, looking up from her jello.

"Out of respect for...Marti." Casey murmured, but the last word, her name, came out in a sort of stifled sob.

"That's a lie and you know it." Lizzie replied, "You're terrible liar, Casey."

"No she's not." I corrected and all three turned to look at me. How do I explain this one? I could always tell when she was lying, but that wasn't because she was a bad liar. I just knew her well enough. "Dad and Nora seem to believe every word she says, no matter how farfetched it is. Like the whole tee shirt thing today, I can't believe she actually believe that."

"What tee shirt thing?" Lizzie frowned.

"Nothing." Casey responded, "A mix up."

"She's wearing Derek's shirt." Edwin informed her.

"Why?" Lizzie head tilted to the side as she observed the shirt Casey was wearing.

"Like I said, a mix up." Casey repeated.

"What kind of mix up would end up with you in one of Derek's shirts?" Lizzie inquired.

"Oh you know the regular kind of mix up." I joked lightheartedly. This was nice; it kind of got my mind off of Marti. It helped.

"Edwin, I get the feeling there's something going on between them, they aren't telling us." Lizzie replied.

I let out a little chuckle despite myself, "Oh just tell them. Dad and Nora already know. No more harm can be done."

Casey shook her head, "It's not the time, with Marti and everything..."

Again she had trouble saying her name and I noticed all right. "Casey are you okay?"

"With this situation, no." Casey said simply. "I don't think we should tell them, not right now."

"I meant about Marti." I corrected.

"Are any of us okay?" Casey questioned, throwing her hands up, and looking at each of us in turn questioning. "Why did this happen?"

"I was asking you that a few hours back." I shook my head.

"We're all thinking it." Edwin piped up. "None of us want to think about it, but we are."

"What is _it_?" I asked a little confused.

"What it would be like if the worst happens. What it would be like if it doesn't turn out okay, like everyone says it will." Edwin explained. "No one wants to believe it could happen, but what if it does? Derek what would we do without our little sister?"

I watched as tears began to fall down his face. I kept replaying his words. The kid had it right. I didn't want to think about it. I wouldn't think about it. Marti had to be okay. She was young, strong, and a hell of a fighter. She would make it through this. She had to. I didn't want to think about what would happen if she didn't. What would life be like without Marti? She was a big, ball of energy. She was a bright spot in everyone's day. What would we do without her?

"She'll be okay. She has to be okay." Lizzie voiced my thoughts, "Right Casey?"

"Right Lizzie." Casey answered immediately. She nodded and reached across the table to hold her sister's hand.

It was just too much for me. Everyone thinks things will work out and God I hope they do. I just wanted to know what was happening. I just wanted to know.

"Come on, we should head back." I suggested.

"Okay, let's go." Casey nodded.

We piled back onto the elevator and pushed the button for the floor. When the doors open Lizzie and Edwin went out first and were around the corner in a moment. I went next, but Casey stopped me right outside the elevator before I could get too far down the hall.

"Derek, how are you doing?" Honestly, how are you doing?" Casey inquired, "Because I know I can read you semi-well, but I haven't asked you."

"How do you think I'm doing?" I responded.

"I know how much you love Marti and I know how much this must be hurting you." Casey began, "Talk to me."

"What's there to say?"

"Could you maybe not answer my questions with another question?" Casey exclaimed.

"I don't know, can I?" I joked with a smile.

"Derek, I know you've never been very big on talking about your feelings, but it's me, Casey, your girlfriend. You can talk to me."

"I know that, Case. There's just not much to be said. I know what could happen, but I have no idea what I would do without her. I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm freaking out. I don't know what to do." I sighed.

"I'm here for you."

"I know. I know you are. You give me strength. Did you know that? If you weren't here right now, I would have completely broken down by now. You're keeping me together Casey."

"No matter what happens we'll get through this." Casey said before hugging me tightly, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, in response, pulling her closer. I held her there for a moment. I was savoring the feel of her arms around me—now that Nora and my dad knew, who knows when I'll get another chance. They were leaving it off because of Marti and everything else that was going on, but what happens when it's over? I pulled away slightly, so I could see her face. She gave me a little smile before leaning forward to kiss my lips. I returned it with the slightest desperation. I stumbled back against the wall, pulling Casey with me. She let out a short laugh. I smiled and let out a laugh myself. I pulled her back into my arms and hugged her to me tightly.

"Thank you." I whispered right against her ear.

"For what?" Casey responded.

"For a minute there, I kind of forgot what was happening. For that, and for being her for me." I explained, then lowered my voice. "I love you, Case."

In hushed tones, Casey responded, "I love you too, Derek."

"Derek, Casey!" Lizzie's voice called. We instantly jumped apart to see her turn the corner. "Are you guys coming?"

"Yeah, Lizzie." Casey nodded, following her sister down the hall.

"We were back in the waiting room again. There were a few more people waiting there now than there were when we left. More worried people waiting for answers to their questions. We sat down in the same seats we had left I didn't get a chance to get comfortable—not that I would have been able to—because barely a minute after we got back, a doctor finally came looking for us.

"The family of Marti Venturi?" He said.

My dad and Nora instantly stood up without a word. My dad just nodded. I stood as well and Casey followed suit, immediately catching my hand in hers and giving me a short squeeze. She was trying to tell me she was there for me, like I didn't know that already. I squeezed back. I took a deep breath waiting for him to say something. We were waiting for news and he was there to give it to us. Was it just me, or was it taking an awful long time to spit the words out?

He opened his mouth and I listened intently, more intently than I ever have before. He spoke just two words. Two words that under any other circumstances would have been a good thing, but under these meant a lot hurt. I never thought that two words, so small and insignificant, could pierce the heart in such away.

"I'm sorry."

Guess I was wrong.


	4. Looking Through New Eyes

A/N: I'm really sorry this took so long to update, (rather chapter three that came out yesterday). My internet was wigging out on me and wouldn't load the site right (it was like a blank screen when I went to stats and stories, so I couldn't get to the edit page). Anyways. Due to what happens in this chapter...I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please R&R (and please don't hate me!)! Thanks! -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Life With Derek.

**Chapter Four**

**Looking Through New Eyes**

_And when we tried to think of the life inside, we found ourselves looking at the world through new eyes._

My mouth fell open. I couldn't be happening. He couldn't mean she...I was so overwhelmed I barely registered that the man had started talking again. My dad had sunk back into his seat, with his face in his hands. His shoulders shook with silent sobs. He already knew. It didn't matter what the man in front of us said. He _already _knew. Nora had returned to her seat, tears trailing down her face. Her arms went around my dad, and he leaned into her. Edwin had his head on Lizzie's shoulder as they hugged each other. I didn't move, I listened to him. The only thing I felt was Casey's grip on my hand tightening.

"We did everything we could, but there was so much damage her body just couldn't handle it. She fought hard, she was strong. We were hopeful, but it just became too much. I am sorry for your loss."

I watched him turn and walk out of the waiting room. God, how I didn't want to believe it. It hurt so bad to believe it. How could she be gone?

My legs gave out from under me. I sank to the ground, sitting on my knees, and Casey went with me. She had her arms around me, pulling me to her. She was in front of me, my head found her chest and she hugged me as I cried. As her own tears began to fall they trickled down her face and landed in my hair. I don't know how long we all were like that before the tears began to dry up. It felt like ages. Everything moved in a blur after that. The next thing I knew I was back in the car driving Casey, Lizzie and Edwin home. Nora had ushered up out with assurences she'd get a cab ride home for her and my dad. She said she didn't want the kids to be cooped up in the hospital longer than need be.

Once we were in the car, I sat behind the whelel for a little while. I listened to the light patter of the rain on the winshield and roof of the car. It didn't look like it was going to let up any time soon. I just had to clear my head a little before I started to drive. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I started the car.

"Would you rather I drive?" Casey spoke up.

I turned and looked at her. She was really concerned about me, I could see it in her eyes. I wasn't really thinking clearly and Casey looked a little more collected than I was. So with a slight nod from me, we switched places. As she pulled out of the hospital parking lot, I rested my head against the cool glass of the window. We were home in no time. Funny how the ride there was like a lifetime, but the ride home passed in a second.

I climbed out of the car once Casey parked. I unlocked the door and let Edwin and Lizzie pass by me. I turned around to see Casey lock the car doors and come up the sidewalk to the house. She passed me the keys to the car as she walked through the door. I followed her in and closed and locked the door behind me. Lizzie had curled up in a chair, while Edwin laid down on the couch. The TV had been turned on and set to a low murmur. I let out a sigh as I watched them. I hated the sadness in their eyes. They didn't deserve to feel this kind of grief.

I turned away and went into the kitchen where Casey had disappeared to. I found her hunched over the sink, washing the few dishes left over from breakfast this morning. I walked up behind her and put my hand on her shoulder. She gave a little start, dropping the plate she had in her hands, before turning to look at me. She attempted a smile, but failed in accomplishing it. She turned back to the sink and picked up the plate she had dropped.

"You don't have to do that." I said quietly.

"Yes I do." Casey corrected me, "If I leave them, my mom will feel like she has to do them and I don't want her to feel like she has to do anything."

"Let me do them. You look exhausted. You should get some sleep." I offered. She really did look exhausted. We all probably did. I didn't want her to feel like she was obligated to do the chores right now.

"No, I'll be finished in a minute." Casey shook her head and pushed me away gently. "Let me do it. I need something to do. Besides I don't think I can sleep right now anyway."

"Yeah me neither." I nodded. I hopped up sat on the counter next to the sink, watching her finish up.

"I should probably wait up for my mom to get home." Casey replied, "She rushed us out of there so fast I didn't really get a chance to see how she was...or George."

"God, my dad must feel..." I trailed off. "I didn't really talk to him at all, all night. If feel bad about it."

"You were upset Derek, we all were. No one was--is--in a talkative mood."

"Yeah, but he's my dad...and it was his daughter. I should have been able to say something. I should have been there for him." I sighed, "Instead I was off in my own little world."

"Believe me, Derek, you are the most self-absorbed person I know, but tonight you lost soemone really close to you. Being off in your own little world is understandable this time." Casey said stopping her washing to look me directly in the eye as she spoke. "Don't feel bad because you were distracted by your own grief."

"But you were there for me, and Lizzie for Edwin! You guys weren't distracted."

"I love you Derek, of course I'm going to be there for you." Casey exclaimed.

"And I love my dad, and I wasn't there for him." I whispered.

"Derek, I loved Marti...sure she was a pest sometimes, and she messed with my things, and she was too far into her belief she was a cat and she was far too much like you, but I loved her. And I'm going to miss her. But no one loved her as much as you, no one is going to miss her more than you. Because of that, all night, all I could think about is how you felt, how you were going to take it if it turned out for the worst. I barely thought about how I was going to feel. You were the only thing I could think of. So no I wasn't distracted, because you were the only thing on my mind." Casey explained.

"I'm sorry, Case." I murmured.

"For what?" Casey frowned, scowling slightly in confusion. "What could you possibly be sorry for?"

"Everything." I said simply.

"Oh Derek. You're not still blaming yourself?" Casey questioned, "Because I told you before that..."

"No. For not think about how everyone else might feel. For not thinking of you when you're so mindful of me. For ever saying that we might be a mistake. Because I know now that if I didn't have you, I would have fallen apart by now. For..." I was rambling.

"When did you ever say we were a mistake?" Casey cut me off.

"Our first real fight as a couple. Not the ones we staged. The one when you got really frustrated with me because I refused to study for soem stupid test...it turned into this big old fight and I said it. I still remember the look on your face when I said it. I told myself that I would do whatever it took, from then on, to never cause you to look that way." I explained quickly.

"That was only, like two months in." Casey responded, "You really believed it then..."

"No, I didn't. I was just afraid. I was falling in love with you and I was scared. I had never experienced that kind of feeling before...and it scared me big time. I was afraid of what would happen if my dad and Nora found out. I was afraid they would make us stop seeing each other. I couldn't lose you." I admitted, "I was scared I would lose you."

"That's crazy, Derek. You won't lose me." Casey replied.

"No I won't, because I won't let go. Not like I let go of Marti." I said softly, "I won't lose you like I lost her."

Casey moved so she was standing in front of me, between my open legs. She came as close as she could to me. I leaned down and rested my forehead against hers, looking deep into her eyes.

"I love you too much to let you go." I whispered.

"Same here, Derek." Casey smiled.

I kissed her lightly, then she wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me closer. I kissed her deeply, with more force. I poured all the love I felt into that kiss. For her. For Marti. For my whole family. I was going to hold on to them with all my might. I wasn't going to let any of them slip away. I would keep them together. For Marti.

My hands found Casey's back and I steadied myself as I leaned forward into the kiss. I had no intention of falling off of the counter. I was almost to the point were I completely lost myself in Casey when I heard it. A sharp gasp that hadn't come from Casey or myself. I pulled away abruptly and we both looked up to see Lizzie in the doorway to the kitchen.

She visibly shook off the shock before saying, "Uh, Edwin fell asleep."

"I'll get him." I said. Casey moved aside and I hopped down from the counter.

I headed for the living rooma and didn't look back. Casey would have a better chance at explaining to Lizzie what she ahd seen. I have to say the surprise on her face was even more than my dad and Nora had shown. I would have thought it would be the other way around. But when I really thought about it, the circumstances under which they found out, probably played a part in their lack of reaction. They were focused on Marti. Discovering us was almost an afterthought in that moment. Lizzie probably never thought she would ever walk in on what she walked in on. Casey could talk her through it, easily I hoped. As Lizzie had said, Edwin was fast asleep on the couch--half hanging off it as it was. I gently shook him to try and get him up.

"Ed, Ed! Come on, time to go to bed." I spoke quietly. He sleepily obeyed, standing and heading for the stairs.

I followed behind him all the way to his room. I sat down on his bed and waited for him to change. I moved over when he came to climb in. He pulled his blankets over himself and then looked right at me.

"Things will be okay without her, right? We'll make it?" Edwin asked sincerely.

"Don't worry Edwin. We'll be okay. Together we'll make it through." I answered. I believed that. We would make it. We had to, for _her._

I left Edwin and made to return downstairs, but a light on under Casey's door stopped me. I knocked softly. I didn't want to disturb her if she was still talking to Lizzie. A moment later the door opened revealing an empty room and just Casey. She tilted her head as she looked at me.

"When do you ever knock?" She asked, gesturing me inside.

As I walked in I responded, "I thought maybe you and Lizzie might still be..."

"There wasn't much to say. She caught us. I couldn't lie to her. She's a smart girl, simple answers were enough. She didn't ask many questions." Casey explained after she closed the door.

"What did she ask?" I asked sitting on the edge of her bed. Casey joined me before answering.

"How long we've been together. She voiced her surprise when I told her. She made the usual crack about you and how it couldn't be possible that you've been committed to one person for that long. She asked if Mom and George knew I told her that they found out tonight, and that they were surprised, but hadn't quite gotten around to talking to us about it. She asked if Emily knew. I told her no and that I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of her knowing when nobody else did--she might have just let it slip. She asked if Sam knew and I told her a big _no._ I told her I didn't even really talk to him anymore, that you didn't even really talk to him anymore and because of that we never really got around to telling him that I was in a relationship with his best friend and you were in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend. It wasn't really a road I wanted to go down. Then she asked if we broke up, so I could be with you. After I voiced my shock that she would even ask me something as personal as that, I told her no."

"Well you never explained to anyone why the two of you broke up--except me of course. He sort of just dropped out of both of our lives." I commented.

"Yeah, well I told her that Sam and I breaking up had nothing to do with us getting together. I told her there were many reasons that we did, and _you _were not one of them." I said. "I figured if she was to really understand how we ended up together she had to know the whole story."

"Did she ask anything else?"

"She asked why we didn't tell anyone."

"What did you say?"

"I said we were kind of afraid of what everyone would think. That in the beginning it was still new to us and being afraid to mess it up was an easy excuse. As things progressed it just got harder and harder to tell everyone...so we just didn't." Casey explianed, "I told her the truth."

I let out a soft sigh, "Edwin will know before morning."

"I know. That's why I told her she could have the honor of being the one to tell Edwin, because I knew she would be anyway." Casey nodded in agreement.

Sorrow began to seep back in as I realized, "Marti will never know."

"Yes she does. She's probably up there watching us. Wishing she was still down here with us." Casey said lacing her fingers with mine.

"You really believe that?" I asked looking at her.

"Yes. She's always going to watch over her Smerek. You meant the world to her. You were her big brother, she loved you. She'd never leave you completely." Casey knew just what to say to me to make me feel better.

"You mean the world to me, do you know that?"

"Do I, really?" Casey inquired.

"Yes you do. You are the absolute best thing that ever happened to me." I responded sincerely. "And I want you to know that I don't care what my Dad or Nora thinks. I'm not going to let you go. I'd be a fool to let you go."

"I love you too Derek." Casey laughed lightly. "When did you turn all mushy or me?"

"I am not mushy. I did not turn mushy!" I exclaimed, and Casey gave me a look that said 'yes you did.' "Okay maybe I did. Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Okay." Casey nodded. She pulled away from me slightly so she could lay down. She patted the empty area beside her, asking me to lay with her.

"I should probably go." I murmured.

"Stay, please. I don't want to sleep alone." Casey pleaded, and stuck out her lip in a dramatic pout.

"My dad will kill me if he finds us. _Nora _would kill me if she found us."

"Please?" Casey sighed, and I gave in. I always give in.

I sighed and laid down next to her. She pulled her blankets over usa nd we curled up together in each other's arms. She rested her head against my chest and my arms went around her waist. Man I could get used to sleeping like this.

"Night Case." I whispered into her hair as I pressed a light kiss there.

"Night Derek." Casey reciprocated and I felt the slight rush of breath on my chest.

I hugged her tighter to me as I closed my eyes. This was all I needed. Knowing she loves me just as much as I love her, having her in my arms, being able to comfort each other through hard times. It felt good. There was no way I was letting go of that.

I don't know what I would do without her in my life--even more so than Marti. I can't even imagine what it would be like if I lost Casey. It hurt so bad to know my little sister is gone, to know she never truely got to experience life...But if it was Casey...I can't even think about it without hurting. I would have fallen apart if I didn't have her to cling to. She is my strength. I know it. I'm not going to let her go.

I was nearly asleep when I heard my dad and Nora come in. I know they aren't going to take us being together well. It isn't something they can accept right away. But I don't care. I am not going to let them take Casey from me. If there is anything I have learned from Marti, from losing her, it is that life doesn't wait around for you to experience it, it passes you right up. I'm not going to wait for them to be ready fo us. I'm ready for us now. I'm seizing life today. I'm experiencing it today. I'm not going to miss out on anything. I'm not going to let it pass me by. I'll take my chances and I'll make my mistakes, but I will live me life. I will really live it. I'll make it worthwhile. For Marti.


	5. Dance Until The Band Stops Playing

A/N: Again I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! This is probably one of my longer chapters. It's the last one, though, hope you like the ending. I hope you've enjoyed. It may be a tinsy bit OOC in the end, but not much. Thanks a bunch! R&R! -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek, or the lyrics in italics below.

**Chapter Five**

**Dance Until The Band Stops Playing**

_What can now be said, oh little one, on the other side? "Dance until the band stops playing," "Sing with all of your might." The list goes on and on..._

A week to the day later, we held a memorial service. I was completely overwhelmed by the finality of it all. For most of the week I had tried to remain uninvolved in the arrangements. I couldn't think about what style of casket to have or what color flowers that would be best. I didn't want to think about the funeral at all. I think my dad and Nora were both appreciative and relieved when Casey offered to take over. She would better job anyway, they admitted later. I just wasn't ready for it. I was still clinging to the hope that one morning I'll wake up and Marti will be there causing come sort of unnecessary mayhem, just like her big brother. With the memorial coming up, though it was like a slap in the face. She was really gone. She wasn't coming back.

I know it seems foolish to hold on to a hope like that. I know I'm far too old to not understand death. I'm old enough to accept that she was gone. I just didn't want to believe it. She was so young, she had so much ahead of her and it all got ripped away from her. Her life was over before she even had a chance to really experience it. It was heart breaking, for me, for all of us. The truly painful thing was watching the heart break on the faces of my family. It seems like it was just this terrible nightmare that I would wake up from any minute. But I wasn't going to wake up. I have to face that.

Casey took over most of the arrangements but left only one area to my dad and Nora for a decision. Who was going to speak at the service? At first I thought my dad would just do it. It made sense for him to speak at his daughter's funeral. Actually, it didn't make sense at all. He shouldn't have to be deciding who would speak at his daughter's funeral. There shouldn't have to be a funeral. If the world made sense at all, Marti would still be alive, terrorizing the people in our house and listening only to me. But the world doesn't make sense, and Marti is gone. Now my dad is faced with such a decision and a few days ago I found out what his decision was. His decision was me.

When he came to talk to me, it was the first time we had really talked about it. We were really leaning on Casey and Nora for support, not each other. I went out of my way to make sure Edwin was alright--he counted on me to be there for him. I was his big brother, so of course I was going to be. But when it came to my dad, it just got hard. I didn't know what to do or say. I wanted to find away to tell him I understood how he was feeling, but I can't. What can you say to a man who just lost his daughter--even if he is your father?

We did get to talk a little about her. We got into a nice reminiscent conversation. Remembering all the good times with her, all her obscure and unusual ways of addressing people, her entire outlook on life even at such a a young age--it served to break the ice. She was amazing in her strange, demanding, unpredictable way. I would find a way to remember her everyday. She deserved that much. She deserved to be remembered.

After our somewhat shaky, awkward talk, my dad got up the nerve to ask me to speak at the service. I was shocked. I never thought he would ask me. Later on Casey would tell me, she had thought all along that I should do it. Apparently, everyone agreed with that. My dad said it just seemed right for me to do it. I was the one who was closest to her. Well I looked at my dad as he asked me, as he explained his reasoning--and I couldn't say no. So I told him I would do it. I had no idea what I would say, but I would do it. And I would.

I would get myself dressed up, stand up in front of all our relatives and friends, and try to sum up what Marti meant to us, even if there wasn't an easy way to condense everything Marti was. It would be hard to put into words, what Marti was--what she meant to us, how much we loved her--but I would try.

The only thing missing from the week prior to the funeral was a serious talk about my relationship with Casey. I think they were trying to put it off until after the service. I wasn't worried through, I couldn't be. If I worried, it meant I was afraid. I had no reason to be afraid, as I told myself constantly. It didn't matter what they thought about us, I wasn't losing Casey. And I definitely wasn't losing her because _they _can't accept it. Because _they _thought we would be better off with other people. Because _they_ think we don't belong together. They can think whatever they want. _I _know better. _I _know we belong together. If anyone fits me perfectly it's Casey. I know it. I know it even if they don't.

I thought they were going to leave it off until I overheard a conversation between Casey and Nora, just Casey and Nora. I know, I know. Eavesdropping is bad. I know, but I still do it. This conversation might very well affect me. I have a good reason to listen.

"Casey can I talk to you?" Nora asked softly. There was only a couple of things this could be about. I stopped around the corner from the kitchen and listened.

"Yeah, Mom. What is it?" Casey responded. I couldn't see them from where I was.

"It's about you and Derek."

"What about us?" I could sense the tension in her voice. She was prepping herself for the worst. I could tell.

"How serious are you two?"

"Does it really matter? Will it make a difference in how you feel about it?"

"Probably not, but could you humor me Casey, please?"

"Mom could you just get to the point, _please_. I have some things left to do, before tomorrow. I need to get them done, so if we could hurry this along..." Casey's tone had an edge to it. I could hear it. She thought her mom was going to say something against us, and it was frustrating Casey.

"I'm having trouble understanding how this happened."

"It just happened Mom. I can't explain it. We didn't do it on purpose. It just happened. All I know is I love him and he loves me. That's a big step for Derek, and me too. Don't mess that up for us."

"Don't mess it up? The whole situation is messed up and the two of you made it that way." Nora accused, but somehow kept her tone neutral.

"The situation got messed up when you married George. The two of you forced us together. The way I see it is it was either this or we would have killed each other." Casey spoke firmly, with confidence, as she voiced her opinion. "Would you rather we had killed each other?"

I could almost see the look of question on her face. I imagine her head tilted to the side as she watched Nora, with her eyebrows raised. I had to suppress a laugh at the vision I had produced in my head. Her sarcasm must have stuck Nora, because there was a long pause before she spoke again.

"You're going to fight me at every corner, aren't you?"

"Did you expect me to just give up, and give in? I _love _him. Isn't that enough for you?" Casey nearly pleaded.

"No. It's just not right."

"And why not? Why is it wrong? Can you explain it to me?" Casey questioned, but waited for no answers. "He _needs_ me. I'm not going to leave him when he needs me most. You can't expect me to."

"Casey, honey, see reason..."

Casey interrupted her. "I can see reason just fine. I see reason clearly. More clearly than you, I think. I understand that you and George are going to have trouble accepting that we're together, but it's what you'll have to do. I'm sorry that you don't like it, but I can't do anything about that. I'm not willing to hurt Derek--or myself for that matter--just because you said to. No, I won't do it."

"You're willing to fight that hard for him?"

"I'm willing to do anything for him."

My heart soared when those words came from Casey's lips. Now that's what I call devotion. I didn't need to worry. I would fight for us. She would fight for us. We would fight and that's all that mattered. I turned around and headed back for my room. I didn't need to hear anymore of the conversation. It didn't matter what was said, we'd be okay.

I had just settled down at my computer, in my room, when my door flew open. I lazily turned my head to see who had done it. I caught sight of Casey standing in my doorway. I nodded her in and she stepped in, closing the door behind her. I swiveled around in my chair so that I was facing her completely.

"What are you doing?" Casey asked as she looked at my computer screen.

"Nothing yet." I admitted and turned back to my computer.

The screen was empty save for a blank word document. I watched the blinking cursor in the top left corner of the document. I had been attempting to work on what I was going to say at the funeral the next day. I had been working on it all week and still hadn't managed to get anything down. I had no idea what to say and it didn't seem like it was going to come to me anytime soon.

"Nothing, huh?" Casey inquired, tilting her head as she looked at me.

"I was trying to figure out what I'm going to say tomorrow, but I got nothing...just a blank page."

"You'll think of something." Casey put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed slightly, "I'm sure you'll think of something."

"What about you? What are you doing?" I questioned, looking up at her.

"I just finished talking with my mom."

"About what?" I inquired, not letting on that I had listened in.

"Us." Casey answered simply.

"Hmm, what about us?"

"Everything, what she thinks about us. The conversation we were waiting for."

"What did she say?"

"In so many words, that she doesn't want us together. She doesn't think it's appropriate in our situation. That being in love isn't enough to justify our relationship...everything we expected they would say." Casey explained, "But I fought her, gave her a ton of trouble. I didn't give in."

"I knew your ability to have an answer to everything would come in handy someday." I joked, sending her a smirk as I turned away from my computer and back toward her.

Casey stepped forward so she was standing in between my legs. She leaned forward, holding herself up by holding onto my shoulders, so that we were face to face just inches apart. She smiled as she looked me right in the eyes.

"Make fun of me all you want, but it worked." She laughed and kissed me lightly on the nose before stepping back and away from me.

It worked? That was new information. "What do you mean it worked?"

"I mean, it worked. She's going to let us be together, no more argument."

"Really?" I asked, searching her eyes.

"Yeah. She said we'll have to sit down with her and George to discuss rules, but sometime later, once the funeral is behind us."

"I can't believe it."

"Well, believe it. And this will probably be the last time we'll be allowed to be alone together." Casey smiled as she backed up toward my door.

I stood and walked to her, "And I suppose sex is completely out of the question."

"Completely." Casey repeated and laughed.

"And what about this, is this allowed?" I asked, before I pulled her to me and kissed her. Her arms went around my neck as she kissed me back.

She pulled away and took a deep breath before saying, "We'll have to negotiate that one in."

"I'll be sure to." I smiled. I rested my forehead against hers. "Tomorrow is going to be awful."

"I know." Casey agreed, her voice quiet. "I know it is. But we'll get through it."

"How? I've got to get up there in front of everyone and I'm drawinga blank on what to say. I don't know what I'm going to do. I should never have agreed to this in the first place. But I couldn't say no to my dad. I couldn't force him to do something he wasn't ready to do."

"Derek you can do this. I know you can." Casey replied. "I can help you if you want."

"No, if I'm going to do this, I have to do it myself."

"Okay, I understand. I have some calls to make, last minute confirmation things, you know how it is." Casey said, "I'll check in on you later, okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded as she opened my door and made to walk out. "Oh and Case?"

"Mmhmm." Casey paused in her exit and looked back at me.

"Love you." I said simply.

"Love you too, Derek." Casey replied before walking out and closing the door behind her.

That night, I still had nothing, even through all my trials, I had nothing. It wasn't like I wasn't trying, it was just nothing sounded right. By the end of the night I was still staring at a clear white screen. Nothing, not even a trace of anything. Just blank. I had spent hours watching the cursor in the corner, blinking, taunting me, waiting for me to write something. But I couldn't.

I couldn't sleep. I had closed out the document, and shut down the computer long before. I had finally given up, in exchange for sleep. A sleep that wouldn't come. So I lay awake, staring at my ceiling. Not the best choice when you have a memorial service to attend--to speak at--in mere hours. At some point I did slip into dreams, but it didn't last long. Before I knew it my alarm woke me up and I was snapped back to reality.

I found my suit, hanging up and still in the plastic from the cleaners. I changed and headed fro the bathroom to freshen up and fix my hair. My tie sat untied around my neck. I got to the bathroom door just as Casey was coming out. I managed a small smile through my sleep deprived haze and she returned it with a little more energy.

"Morning." She replied, pressing a kiss to the side of my mouth and wiping away the smudge of lipstick she left there.

"Morning." I said.

"It's all yours." Casey responded waving me into the bathroom.

"Thanks." I nodded.

I slipped in and closed the door. I propped myself up with my hands on the counter, one on each side of the sink. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. It was actually today. We were going to bury my little sister today. I turned the nob for the cold water and splashed some on my face. It helped to wake me up a little. I grabbed a towel off the hook and dried my face. With minimal effort I fixed my hair so it wasn't unattractively unruly and left the bathroom.

Casey's door was open as I passed and I stopped in her doorway. She was sitting on her bed as she slipped some heels onto her feet, strapping them into place. She finally looked up and caught sight of me. She grabbed her purse and walked toward me. Once she was in the hallway she closed the door to her room.

"Did you figure out what you're going to say?" Casey asked.

"No." I said simply and the look I gave her must have been enough to tip her off that I didn't want to talk about it.

Casey turned and headed for the stairs, as I followed. We came down together. Lizzie was already finished and sitting on the couch staring at the blank screen of the TV. I stood next to Casey, behind the couch. She said a small greeting to Lizzie, who responded slightly. I hastily tied my tie. It must have looked sloppy, because Casey made a face when I turned toward her. She moved it a little so that it was centered and tightened it ever so slightly. Edwin joined us not long after with his own tie fisted in his hand, a look of frustration etched into his features. I immediately walked over to him and without a word, helped him tie it. I straightened it when we were finished similarly to how Casey had done with mine.

"Where are dad and Nora?" Edwin asked.

"I don't know. I haven't seen them yet." I answered.

"I checked in on them before I got ready, they should be done any minute." Casey replied.

"How were they?" I questioned. They had to be in tough shape.

"As well as they possibly could be." Casey said. "They'll be okay, though."

I nodded. After that it was quiet until my dad and Nora appeared. It was quiet even after that. It was only a moment before they ushered outside to the car Casey had arranged for, to take us to the church where the service was being held. The entire drive we were all quiet, I don't even think any of us moved. The trip didn't take long and we were soon assembled in the church.

While most ceremonies I've attended--weddings, awards assemblies, and funerals alike--seem to drag on forever, this one did not. At least, not to me. It was soon my turn to speak. The moment I had been fearing was now upon me.

"And here is Derek Venturi, to say a few words."

I stood and made my way to the front from my seat in the first pew with Casey and the rest of my family. I took my place behind the podium. As I looked out at all the faces--faces of the people who cared for or loved Marti--it was suddenly like I knew exactly what to say. I took a deep breath and began.

"I had trouble getting ready for this. I had trouble finding the right words to say for my little sister. I know most people would come prepared with some piece of scripture or some speech about how different life is going to be without her or how much we're going to miss her. While all that is there, I don't think that's enough for Marti.

"I can't say, 'she led a good life', 'she lived it well', or 'she had no regrets.' The truth is, she never really got the chance to lead a good life, or to live her life to the fullest. It's tragic, we all know that. I know that if she had understood what a regret was, she wouldn't have had any. And in her absence, I am left with only one: that she never truly got to see how good life could be.

"When I thought about what I was going to say here--when I thought about Marti--the only thing that crossed my mind were all the things Marti never got to do. She never got to grow out of her obsessive belief she was a cat. She never got to grow up at all. She never got to hate being too young. She never got to hate being too old. She never got to be an adult wishing she was a kid again. She never got to fall in love or get married. She never got to have kids of her own--that would grow up believing they're a bunch of cats, or dogs or some other wild animal. She never got to do a lot of things. There were a lot of things she missed out on. I could bore you with some spill about how 'she was taken from us too soon' or how 'God must have had a reason' or 'that's she's in a better place,' but I won't.

"From what I could tell Marti was happy. She may have been a little crazy sometimes, a little too nosey, insanely curious--which I assume was the cause of the nosiness--and someone once said to me, far too much like me. If you knew her, you know that's true. But she was a good kid and she was loved. She is loved.

"Marti was a bright spot in the day. She was a chance to see truly carefree whiles. She was a chance for a good laugh. She was so many things...and we will all miss that. We will all miss her. I will miss her, but I will not mourn her. I will live for her, experience everything she couldn't _for_ her. This is for you Marti. I love you."

I let out a breath of relief and stepped down. I returned to my seat next to Casey and felt her slip her hand into mine. She leaned toward me and kissed my cheek, letting it linger just a tad longer than necessary. I smiled and leaned into her.

"Did you say all of that off the top of your head?" Casey whispered to me later, as we walked out to the cemetery for the actual burial.

"Yeah. When I tried to get it out, it just wouldn't come out. But once I got up there, it all seemed to fall into place. It sounded all right, didn't it?" I responded.

"It sounded amazing, perfect for not having anything prepared at all. And surprisingly eloquent fro you." Casey assured. "It was perfect, don't worry. You did good Derek. Marti was exactly what you said, everyone felt the exact way you described all the expected sentiments you cut out, didn't fit Marti, she would have hated them. You did perfect, especially for last minute."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"For what?" Casey questioned.

"You know we do that a lot. I say some thing and you need further clarification, 'for what?' You can't just accept it how it is." I rolled my eyes, "For making up that load of bull to make me feel better."

"It wasn't bull. I was serious." Casey defended her response. "I really think you did perfect, and that's the truth. Don't question it. 'You can't just accept it how it is.'"

"Don't steal my lines." I joked.

"Okay, as long as you don't steal mine." Casey proposed, "Deal?"

"When have I ever stolen one of yours?" I inquired, frowning.

"Do we have a deal or not?" Casey prodded.

"Fine deal." I agreed.

"See this is what Marti would have wanted, for us to get past it and move on as quickly as possible." Casey replied.

"Do you actually think she was old enough to think such a thing?" I asked.

"I just have the feeling that's what she would have wanted, whether she understood it or not." Casey responded.

"I think you're right."

From our connected hands, I pulled her closer so I could wrap my arm around her waist as we walked. Most people had already assembled at the burial site and they parted to let us through to the front. This part of the service began shortly after. Watching her casket being lowered was too much for me and before they finished. I had to get away. I gestured for Casey to stay. I spent the remainder of the burial, standing alone under a tree a little further down the hill. I casually glanced at the stones set into the ground at my feet. The closest one was a double plot, the dates showed the couple had been elderly when they passed--just over a month apart. From the few simple words written there you could tell they had lived full lives--mother, father, wife, husband, friend, even grandmother and grandfather. I wanted mine to read like that. I wanted to experience all of those things, because Marti hadn't.

"What are you looking at?" Casey's voice filled my ears, breaking into my thoughts.

I turned and watched her finish her walk down to me. "All done up there?"

"Yeah. So, what were you looking at?"

"This couple, they got to be very old--together. They were even buried next to each other. They were parents, and grandparents. I want that someday." I explained, "And I think I want it with you."

"Derek, I..."

"I love you, Case. I know it's only been six months, but it's different. I can feel it. I've realized a lot of things because of what happened. And when I said I wouldn't let you go, I didn't mean just right now--I meant forever. I might not have known it, but that's what I meant." I said quickly, spitting the words out as fast as I could. The emotion was thick in my voice, I could hear it.

"You can't possibly mean that..."

"I do."

"Really?"

"Yes." I nodded in confirmation.

"I love you, Derek. I really do. And I meant it yesterday when I said I was willing to do anything for you..."

"When did you say that?" I asked, continuing in my act of playing dumb.

"I know you heard me. You make too much noise when you walk. I heard you walk in and I heard you walk away. Just because my mom didn't hear you, I did. I'm too tuned into you."

"Oh."

"I don't care that you heard. I'm glad you heard."

"Really?"

"Yes." Casey nodded this time, "You said it felt different. I know what you mean. It feels right, so right that we don't want to let go of it, because it feels like if we do we'll never find it again..."

"I don't think we would ever find it again. Not something like this." I admitted.

"Me neither." Casey agreed.

"So we agree. We belong together, like eternal, forever together." I said.

"Yes, I think so." Casey smiled.

"Marti would be proud of us." I replied.

"Why do you say that?" Casey asked.

"Because we're living life to the fullest, taking it for everything it's worth." I answered.

Casey smiled and stepped closer to me. She gripped my shoulders and pushed herself up, onto the tips of her toes, to capture my lips with hers. My hands found her waist and pulled her closer. I was sure it was her I wanted it all with. I wasn't looking for a happily ever after, most of the time those aren't real. I was just looking for an ending with us together. And I would find it. For me. For Casey. For Marti.

A/N2: That's the end! Hope you enjoyed it! Review...Review...Review, please! -Mac


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